dollmaxing | Inbox & In-person meetups

"That's right," she encouraged, standing behind him and the chair so she could comb her fingers through his curly hair. A little gesture that seemed to make him melt... especially in bed, but hopefully more casually now, as well. "This is the contingency code that the Hasegawas want. It has to be able to think circles around EMMA, so it's already quite dense."

His shoulders hunch up a little at the contact but he allows himself to melt into it- still focusing on the code as he listens to Kuon's explanation. "You are running three different indexes at the same time..." he could only awe at the expertise in display. "That's a three dimensional matrix and we have only barely touched on that during our statistics class...fascinating."

"Wish I could help in the same way against the other Marukis..."

"You know, I'm sure you actually could, if you put your mind to it. Cognitive defenses and shielding, maybe...? Subconscious reinforcements that would give someone time to notice that another Azathoth was fiddling with their minds."

She hummed a bit as she kept petting him, gently and gradually parting his hair as if she could tame the adorably shaggy mess.

The laugh he lets out there has no humor.

"That would still involve them trusting me," he sighs- desperately trying now to only look at the code. "And me trusting them that they would accept my solution."

He reached up now, his hand catching Kuon's as he brings her palm down- holding it firmly as he presses his nose against her hand. "Can you keep touching my hair like that? With the other hand?"

Well, well... something's happened again, hasn't it? Something's triggered the pot to start boiling over.

Without comment, Kuon leaned down to kiss the top of his head. Standing back upright, she gently pulled Takuto back just a bit so he relaxed in the chair, letting his head rest against her middle as she resumed combing her fingers through his hair.

"I realized that even if this other world's Kuon was off her rocker and misled, she at least would have had to know well enough to leave backdoor access for herself in EMMA. While EMMA can obfuscate the door, I doubt she can get rid of it... so this AI here is going to be able to tear through the firewalls and other security measures to expose that opportunity. I have the same sort of backdoor on my EMMA, as well - in case she needs an emergency edit. Though, I wonder, with cognitive power... maybe that point is entirely moot. EMMA may be able to break free from coding limitations and could solely act on her prime directives... it's been an interesting thought."

She wasn't sure how much he was listening. It'd be fine if he wasn't - he likely needed the background hum, the slight distraction. He seemed... brittle and fragile, right now.

His chest tightened as he felt her lips on his forehead. A gesture he used to share with Rumi when she used to drag him to bed after long all-nighters that were pulled for journal papers. Hours that Takuto sometimes wished he spent more with Rumi instead of his studies...anything to make up for the lost time now.

You can grieve and love someone at the same time.

Could he love Kuon? Could he ever cherish her the same way he cherished his loving fiancee? Her bright smile...could he ever put aside Kuon's smile as its own and not a shadow of what Rumi used to gift him with everyday?

EMMA...the backdoor. The other exit. An escape for EMMA or was she satisfied where she was? With no reason to flee?

He wished he could be there. Away from others. Away from people. Away from ever having to face his feelings again.

"Limitations...only serve to be needless," he nods along- speaking slowly so that his voice doesn't crack. "The mind is incredible and fascinating in the way it thinks. If EMMA's...replicated the same way, I can't be sure if her true nature as code takes precedence over how she precedes over others- but cognition probably has a way to help her make different breakthroughs."

"Exactly. Connection to broader cognitive thought and consensus reality will expand her mind - I'm sure the same happens to mortal minds going through the same experience," she mused thoughtfully.

"But if that backdoor still exists, she might keep it there for me to go in and make a change to her code that she can't perform herself. If she ever needed a specific rewrite, or a shift in her core priorities and identity... does a machine intelligence fear that change, the way a human mind often does? I wonder."

People are so, so afraid of change.

"Still... EMMA found that even humans will eventually come to her on their own terms. When they are ready to give her their own Hearts, ready to ask for help... they always come. If you feel lost, Takuto, then EMMA's path may be the right one to follow while you look again for your lost footing."

"I think its less about fear and more about efficiency," he counters at the idea of change. "Human mind can have irrational counters but machines would not really do a task until it holds some logic to its main directive, right?"

That said, he miffed a little at Kuon's other sentence. It just....no.

"Haven't you seen the palace? It's growing and there are more personnel then ever before," he scoffs lightly. "I am not lost. There really is no other future I see in sight other than the one right now."

Huh... snippy. That was the wrong answer, then - or the wrong wording. Kuon paused in her touch, looking down at him thoughtfully.

What are you looking for, from me?

Hmm...

"Well... knowing the destination may not make the path obvious, is what I mean."

He looks up at her, searching for something in her gaze. Some hint of that same sorrow that Hamuko held when he said the same thing to her.

Kuon was right.

People just empathized too much to really see the full picture, hm?

"That's why I do want us to work together once we are out of this...needless prison. You, me and Ancile and...we can get to working right away."

"But come on now...you sure you would want me with a different heart? Or...none at all?"

"How different could you possibly become?" Kuon chuckled softly, resuming her gentle petting of his hair as she smiled down at him. "Not so heavily weighed by your heart... all of your charm and silliness still there... but I can't tell you whether or not to do it. It's yours, after all."

Silly man.

"But I also mean that maybe that is the approach you should have with others - not stressing your aching heart over their lack of trust. Focusing on those who come to you first, who do trust you. Giving them all you can. Let your successes build up... and the others will come, eventually."

Right. That makes sense. That's logical. He's just all over the place right now but that's what he wants to build up on. But to consider everything else...even if he did process his heart away and trusted it to a machine- something tells him he would come out much different.
Kuon isn't heartless after all, regardless of what she tells herself. If they truly became heartless, that's a different ordeal.

"Mhm," he hums- straightening up as he rests his chin on his knuckles. "To gain credibility. To gain actual subjects and then we can continue building off on that with my palace...followed by a new reality to fulfill people's wishes."

"I guess it's just...frustrating with being stuck here. Watching people from worlds where their lives are far worse and I told myself that I am not responsible for them and yet..."

Morning, Zaun, Satyr, the Hasegawas, Hamuko...

'Or they'll abandon me. Or move on, because I am too much trouble.' 'I'll be gone soon anyway.' 'I can't seem to change... I can't seem to not burden those close to me. They'll be better without me'

Hamuko...why do you think that way? Why does your heart ache so much and why can't you stay here at the same time? Why...?

"Yes, yes... you have a very big, very sensitive heart," Kuon cooed softly, leaning down again to give his head another kiss. "It's shown you what you want to do. I'm sorry it hurts you so severely."

Like a ruptured organ...

"Does having a plan laid out keep the frustration at bay? I wouldn't know for sure, but we could try a few things to help."

Big, sensitive heart...
That had too nice of a ring to it.

"We could plan out a little something," he admitted with a weak laugh- trying to reach back for her and reciprocate her attention but the chair proved more to be a hindrance than he had originally anticipated. "With Ancile here, we could probably continue with investigating other cognitive areas and of course, moving in."

"..."

He blushed a little before just getting up from his seat. "...speaking of which, can we change venues to the bed? I feel a bit selfish taking up all your attention like that. Even if I have no complaints."

"You always capture my attention. It's welcome," Kuon assured, running her fingers through his hair and down his head to his shoulders, not actively trying to brush along the back of his neck as she walked over to the bed.

She sat down, kicking off her slippers and curling up against the headboard - relaxed, playful, and available to Takuto. For whatever mood he needed to express through her, tonight.

"I know."

You are the only one who's come to spoil me, he doesn't say.

Takuto followed suit, walking up to the bed with his socks still on- crawling in before burying himself into her embrace- wrapping his arms around her body to hold her close. "My favourite doll," he remarked fondly as he practically clings to her and her warmth. "I would love it when we get to spend more time without a distance. Who knew I would start to think of my palace as a funny hindrance?"

"It's a place for work, and we're doing so much more than just work together, now," Kuon agreed fondly, wrapping her arms around him in a cozy embrace. Let me be your comfort.

"Are you eager to be able to scold me to go to bed at a reasonable hour more often? Maybe you're looking forward to fixing meals for four instead of just two," she lightly teased, giving him some levity to grasp onto.

"I think we violated a dozen lab conduct rules by now." It's a funny little fact that he can't help but cherish, feeling like he's allowed to feel reckless in her space. "But its okay I have connections with the upper management. They can't exactly fire us."

He perked up a little at her teasing. "We should all encourage ourselves to be healthy so...while I wouldn't scold I would subtly like you to adjust."

"Though if we stay up like this and have melonpan..? I can make that an exception."

She chuckled a little, rubbing her hand up and down Takuto's back. Her mind fixated, for a moment, at the texture of the pajamas' fabric under her hand... it felt nice. Made goosebumps rise on her arms, in a pleasant way.

Maybe it's just because it was on her friend, though.

"Regrettably, we don't have a constant stream of energy and power supply... we have to actively make sure to rest so we function at our best. The price to pay for having a body that can regenerate and grow new cells, I suppose."

"Well~ we can always have Azathoth help us out in that," he admits- even if his brow subtly twitches at that. "Maybe its the mark that's growing on me but I feel...less exhausted nowadays."

"I hypothesize that once I go back...he and I would mould a lot easier. You always mentioned cybernetics too, didn't you?"

"It's a fun thought, isn't it, not needing to do nearly so much work keeping a body going!" Kuon laughed a bit. Her fingers traced down Takuto's spine, feeling each vertebrae under the thin fabric of the pajama shirt. "I still think you'd wear the look spectacularly. You make everything else look good, after all."

Takuto pleasantly hummed under her touch- imagining her working through integrating the metal into his skin and vice versa. If only so that they didn't get held back by their human skin...

"Again, while I am very flattered- I think I will look more closely to an old man who's learning how to run again," he chuckles weakly. "If anything you...looking like a pure tech goddess. Creator of EMMA. Sharp, bright and beautiful. It would be delightful."

"Ohh... do you think I'd pull off the cyberpunk look? Limbs and organs replaced, plugged directly into my computers... heh heh. I'd make sure I had soft parts, though - it'd be no good if you couldn't enjoy cuddling against me, would it?"

Softly, she laughed a bit.

"Getting to integrate and explore in a system empowered by Azathoth... that would be pretty fun."

"Maybe it would be more like...hugging a sturdy plush. I don’t know," he continues with a little giggle of his own. "Still won't keep me away from the softness that resides here~"

He presses his cheek against her chest- close to her heart. "I really do your love your warmth."

Really, Takuto would never admit any of this out in public. Such talk is only reserved for Kuon to savour.

A heart that beats just a little faster with him snuggling like this. A heartbeat that is subtly muted over a low, soft chuckle from her as her fingers found their way back into his hair like they were drawn magnetically.

"I'm glad it serves you well. Finally it serves someone at all."

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