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She didn't concede, huh?

Takuto raises his head and pulls her close- tucking her into his embrace this time. "The code's taking time to compile, hm?" He grins teasingly. "Don't worry. It's as you say- we will figure it out."

Mercifully, Takuto continues on after just a short pause, letting her know she didn't have to answer right away but- "What was your first project? Like...it could be college or when you were young...what was the first thing you coded for yourself?"

"Coding mods and hacks for some of my favorite video games," Kuon chuckled, happy to snuggle into him. Her cutie... he could keep her as his forever.

"Nerd," he teased back, grinning while allowing himself this very moment of quiet. "Tell me more. What did you mod?"

"All kinds, but especially Dokemon and other Nontendo games. Glitch fixes, glitch exploits, custom dokemon, romhacks... then I got older and started coding for websites for fun, before burying my head in programming textbooks and lessons online."

"You did all that without the lessons?!" His eyes widened, shocked at well- her list of experience. He, himself, was simply stuck in tutorial hell...and he liked to think of himself as proficient in studies.

He reaches out and cups her head. Like someone holding two pieces of bread to a sandwich. "My smart sandwich."

And then he giggled, brightening up like he didn't just do the most immature thing ever.

"Or planktonic smart sandwich? Either way, that's miles ahead of what I could have done. I was more into studying the usual curriculum of a school in a small town."

Kuon laughed, cheeks warming at the heaped praise and teasing combo. This man...

"Sure! I'm all yours, Takuto," she laughed, a little pleasantly bewildered, crossing her arms around the small of his back in a loose hug. "There was a trade-off... I was awful at my grammar and lit analysis papers. Those were probably easy for everyone except me."

She just never knew what answer the teachers were looking for...

"Lit analysis papers can have their twist and turns," he shrugged lightly. "Everyone has different interpretations of the same story after all."

"If it helps, I wasn't that good either until Rumi helped me picked up my literature grades."

His expression sombers a little even as he mentions her, thinking of the days when she used to sit by his side.

"Hmm... been nostalgic about her, lately? Is that what's got your heart aching and mind racing, tonight?" she asked, not bothered by the idea of it. She kissed at his collarbone.

Saying that and then kissing on his collarbone...hm.
He doesn't let go, doesn't even flinch even as a sad smile graces his lips. Whatever mood Kuon is in, he would follow. Even if...

To simply forget it all.

"Hamuko caught me slipping up," he muttered. "Nothing about her dreams or their connection to me but..."

"Hmm? If not about her dreams, then what did she 'catch' you on?" Kuon asked, looking up at him somewhat curiously. Huh. So it wasn't just him missing his amnesia-ridden fiance?

He chuckled with no humor.

"Her sleeping reminded me of Rumi's comatose state," he admitted- looking up at Kuon. "I ended up...rambling."

"Then we started talking because apparently Satyr mentioned Rumi's name too and things just took a whole turn and I-" he ran his fingers through his hair, bangs pulled back. "It just...wasn't right."

In a rare expression, Kuon actually cringed. Ah... he'd confided that story to her privately, and he probably didn't want to tell it all over again.

Much less to a teenager.

"It reminded you of Rumi, huh... you could have told her you weren't going to talk about that, Takuto. You shouldn't let some teenager pressure you into opening up."

"She's a teenager forever, you know?" he replies back- eventhough he knows this whole situation was just. Bad. Awful. He shouldn't have opened up at all...much less.

"She caught me rambling to myself," he clarifies. "I didn’t...I didn't want to tell her everything but- she's lost loved ones too. Ones she wished for at the shrine with me."

"I thought...maybe it would make her feel less alone. She's been so honest with me so far."

Not to mention the fact that he was still keeping things for her. It felt so close to how things had happened with him and Akira-kun.

Too soft... poor thing. She knew that Takuto couldn't handle turning a blind eye to someone else, especially someone in such a dramatically sad state.

"I'm guessing it didn't resonate with her?" Kuon asked, gently cupping Takuto's cheek as he spoke, stroking it gently as she listened carefully.

The hand on his cheek shouldn't be unexpected but it makes his gaze flicker to a torn look, for the briefest moment. The dam was filling up slowly and the waterworks were threatening to overwhelm him.

"We couldn't have been any different," he rasped. "She's...so naive. She thinks I should be sad at the fact that Rumi has no idea how loved she was that's-!"

"I tried. I tried so many months as I brought up her family. Any type of connection to the past that would bring her relief but it just- doesn't work like that! Everyone here thinks they can battle their problems out. That's fictional! Needless! Rumi was saved...shouldn't that matter the most?"

As Takuto became emotional, Kuon put her full effort into listening, and thinking about his words.

"Sad that Rumi doesn't remember how loved she was... hmm."

She touched her chin in thought, but kept cradling Takuto's cheek with the other hand. Why would such a thing be so sad...? Being sad about being forgotten sounds normal, but being sad that someone had forgotten someone else...? Empathy seemed like such a curse.

"I see... maybe it has more to do with the fact that Hamuko-chan is dead," she speculated. Gently, she lowered her hand from her face and brushed back Takuto's hair softly. "She might be projecting - after all, to her, all she has left is that her loved ones might remember her, even though she's gone. They say your final death is the very last time anyone says your name, after all."

"...See, if she were asking if you were sad for longing for her, that would make more sense to me," Kuon said, adopting a soft tone. "Because of course you would be - that's the normal response."

~~That's why people found her so abnormal, when her parents...~~

"And clearly you can't change that feeling. But having that feeling doesn't mean you can't also be glad that Rumi isn't suffering - people hold contradictory feelings and thoughts all the time, don't they?"

"She was worried about that too," he adds even as he feels himself clinging to Kuon, desperately so even as he felt greatly spoiled by having her comfort him like this.

It was strange, living with the fact that someone stood by him regardless of the sacrifices he was and was willing to make.

He nods mutely.

"It contradicts...but my heart is still delighted that she can keep going on happily," he admitted freely.

"Wish that's how things had ended..."

"Hmm...? Did something else happen, in that conversation?" Kuon asked, not minding his clinging - she rested her arm over his shoulder and pet at his hair, studying his face as she gave him undivided attention.

Suicidal.

She thinks I am suicidal.

Still, that's...he can’t say that to her. Regardless of what Hamuko’s intentions were he couldn't just out that. Even to Kuon.

He shook his head, sighing to himself. "Am I...self-destructive? Kuon?"

"Yes," Kuon answered, without even a moment's hesitation. Without even a flinch or pause as she stroked his hair. "Your act in surrendering your life with Rumi was a clear example. And you carve from yourself in your actions towards others in pain. Like you are one of those roasted meats, you shave yourself thinner and thinner to nourish those starving around you."

She doesn't really even say it derisively... not with praise... it simply is. That's how Takuto is.

"My own selfish enjoyment of your company aside, it's why I've decided to stay by your side - to help you build back up, to show you your accomplishments, remind you to take pride in yourself thus far. So long as I can be that for you, I will."

...!

His eyes widen a little at the clear admittance but his expression sobers right after, a flash of amusement in his eyes as he takes in Kuon's words.

And her metaphor. Way to remind him he skipped dinner a few hours ago, Kuon.
Still.
Is that really a bad thing? The world needs support. It needs unbiased judgement and help. Is it so bad when he can give up the cost ten fold, regardless of his own feelings or the memories with the other person.

Kuon...

Edited 2025-09-24 17:08 (UTC)

He smiles.

"Point me at the ledge before I decide to take the fall, huh?"

"Hmmm... more like... ah! Yes, more like a bungee cable. Pulling you right back up after you take the fall for someone," Kuon offered, in counter, sounding very pleased with herself for what she felt was an apt metaphor.

"Look at you go, literature analyst," he chuckles lightly.

"But yeah I...I like that. I am glad I have you by my side."

For now.

For he knows she wouldn't just be happy by his side. For he knows there might be a time where she would want to be liberated from her pains too.

"And I think I know what to do next with Hamuko's dreams."

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