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[dollmaxing]

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Hiiii! You've reached Ichinose Kuon, head of AI research and development. Leave a message and I'll get back to you!

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[takutomaruki]

Oh, she likes the custard one, hm? Next time when he stocks up on the snacks, it would be good to keep an eye on that one.

"Haha! I relate to that too," he follows up as he looks onward, recalling a faint memory. "Back when...things were somehow simpler but, overwhelmingly complex- given everything that transpired, which only makes sense now." Staying up for nights on end to work on his thesis, his life and hard work- compiled in nearly 300 pages.

That said, Ichinose's suggestion makes him stifle another laugh. "Sure. A little bit of enabling hasn't hurt anyone, and not like we have any day jobs to maintain." He looks around. There would be fewer people to worry about as well. "But-! I am still encouraging us to follow a healthy diet. Breakfast in mornings-! Lunch...dinner...I have already invited you to all of them, most of the time."

He hums as he runs his fingers through her hair, gently so. The texture was quite nice.

"It's been a while since I have watched a movie though," he excitedly backs up. Still enthusiastic about her offer. "Not...well ever since..."

[dollmaxing]

Ahh, hasn't done it since the fiance. She could be sympathetic, but... well, it didn't seem very practical, or very honest. She didn't really care what this ex fiance might've done or not.

"Well, that means you have a nice backlog to catch up on, even more perfect," she proposed, watching as Takuto got sucked into stroking her hair.

Oh, very seduceable indeed. He wasn't lying.

She decided to reach up and pet at his hair, too, pleasantly surprised by the feel of the curls. So different from her straight hair.

"What genres do you like? I bounce between documentaries and science fiction, but really, I enjoy just about anything. Even horror movies, though I used to get mocked for not being 'girly' when admitting that."

[takutomaruki]

Hm, is she...touching his hair? He pauses his petting for a bit, feeling the slight pleasantness of her fingers as he stays quiet. He started this first, he will just linger for a little more longer before pulling away.

"Oh no, that's just unfair. Cause it sure isn't 'manly,' I am always terrified of them. Especially if they are actually good. Otherwise its just another comedy."

Which he also liked to watch but most jokes in movies nowadays never hit the same spot anymore.

"...I like romance movies," he blushes a little out of embarrassment. He watched so many of them with Rumi...it always felt like he connected with her whenever he watched one back home or here. "That and documentaries. There are some really fascinating ones out there."

"I am not surprised about the science fiction one though." He teases with a grin- feeling his fingers shake a little. Ugh, why did he say that earlier? He shared too much, didn't he?

[dollmaxing]

As he pulled away, Kuon's arm settled and rested on the back of the bench behind him, listening as he chatted. Romance movies - that makes sense, he seems soft about them. And documentaries as well!

Though after a moment, she noticed the shaking in his fingers. Romance movies. Hmm.

"I think I can see why romantic movies are fun. They're very... comfortable, with happy endings. Or at least hopeful ones. Out of the romantic movies I've seen, I like the romantic comedies," she explained calmly, hoping it would ease his shakiness.

"I'll pick a few of my favorite movies. I'm sure you'll like how they pick at the brain, make you think."

1/2

[takutomaruki]

"Right? Romantic comedies can be...really silly but the payback is almost always positive." The smile fights its way onto his lips. He always found it a little strange when other teachers didn't say the same. Some admitting romance was dead when they clearly were already married or they were like Ms Chuono who, for whatever reason, was really curious about his particular tastes.

At the mention of her saying she would recommend him movies as well, ones they can watch together- he was delighted by the idea. "Romance movies...horror movies...I am really not that picky. I think anything can be very enjoyable with the right company."

[takutomaruki]

Like you. He didn't say. Because at some point he could tell that Kuon was watching him and with the way he was swimming in his own emotions, drowning under its sudden onslaught as he palms his face; it only made him slightly twitchy.

"Ah- I am sorry to cut the conversation short, I may- I need to clear my mind a little," he waves his hand a little before grabbing the silly can that he bought and sets it aside. He pats his pockets a little, finding his trusty box of cigarettes as he straightens up with his fingers wrapped around it. "Must be the alcohol again."

[dollmaxing]

"It is a chemical depressant, after all," Ichinose hummed, though if her tone came across as judgmental... well, it wasn't intentional. "I can pour your sake for you, next time. Make sure you're only having enough to have fun. Or cut you off - whichever way you'd like me to help, really."

She didn't mind him getting his cigarettes out, didn't mind the smell. It was a foible of his, but he'd seen so many of hers, after all. It was only fair. She kept nibbling on her snack.

But if silence is what he wanted, he could have it. She didn't mind - she was still here, enjoying the closeness, the companionship of the one person who even bothered trying to see things from her perspective.

Best enjoy it while I can, she thought, before he finally gets rubbed the wrong way by my heartlessness and leaves.

[takutomaruki]

Look at him...getting pitied over by things he should have control over. He wasn't a child anymore, nor a irresponsible college student who didn't know better. Alcohol was his weakness, this...ugly side that only reared its head when he felt like a hand could force its way into his chest and rip out his heart with force. He felt too self-conscious and fidgety with each of his actions and well, despite everything he could tell Ichinose honed on details the way he did.

It was strange, being on the other side of the lens. Not unflattering, not off-putting but strange for a man like him when he's spent the better half of his life wondering whether he was even worthy of wishing again. Not when he had such an important goal to follow through.

That said, she didn't tell him to go away yet. Even with the cigarette box in his hand. She had to have known about this vice of his too by now so...

"...you don't mind if I-?"

[dollmaxing]

"Of course not, Takuto," she assured. She didn't mind the smoking, didn't mind the way he easily overdid his alcohol.

She didn't mind the way his heart always hurt him.

All of those foibles were minuscule compared to the merits. The kindness, his intelligence, his alignment in morals. Even when somber, he was good company.

Kuon might be incapable of being a good girlfriend for anyone, but surely she can at least be a good friend. ...Right?

"We're relaxing right now, after all."

1/2

[takutomaruki]

The reassurance made him stall for a moment, picking the pieces of his heart that cracked and broke apart in such vulnerable moments. The type that made his chest warm and pull a melancholic lilt on his lips.

"Yeah...we are," he nods in agreement as he relaxed back on the bench, thankful for this moment. He didn't want to rush to one of those smoking booths and smoke there all alone.

She was good company.

"Thank you," he says softly as he opens the package and pulls out a cigarette from the front. There, right on the front was a large smoking warning and Takuto always looked at it whenever he pulled one out. If only to remind himself not to overdo it.

[takutomaruki]

In sheer methodical fashion, he placed the cigarette between his lips, one side hanging off as he pocketed the box and pulled out his lighter. It was a simple metallic one with a small star sticker that had started to fade out from the sides. Its bright colors discolored as he clicked the trigger, allowing its flickering flame to dance away and burn the end of said cancerogenic agent.

For her sake, he did look away so that the fumes didn't go directly to her direction.

One heave then another exhale, cigarette firmly balanced on fingers.

For any other smoker, they would have offered the courtesy of one but he could tell from one glance that just because she didn't mind it, doesn't mean that she wanted to do it.

Probably better that way.

After some silence, once his shoulders had properly relaxed and his breath smelled like ash, he spoke again.

"Despite everything, your words are still...really loud in my mind. It makes me nervous," He chuckles in between puffs.

[dollmaxing]

Supposedly, tobacco helped calm the nerves. While it wasn't the most pleasant smell, it also wasn't a smell that bothered her, even with how pungent it was. No, it was such a natural part of so many people's scent that really, it hardly stood out.

But the way the lighter illuminated his face from the shadow, the way the grey smoke curled and floated away from him, it strangely felt as picturesque as an actor in a movie being filmed by a professional. Which was just a little funny to imagine - Takuto Maruki, somber would-be world savior, fighting the despair of not having succeeded just yet...

At his comment, Kuon's head tilted in surprise.

"Oh? Which words are loud? Or just all of them in general."

[takutomaruki]

It's not an appealing sight. Not in his eyes. It's not just tobacco after all, it's the alcohol, the fresh mess of his clothes and the eye circles that feel too prominent when he isn't smiling.

"It's easy for me to tune out the noise when I am alone," he admits as he searches for the right words to answer her question. "But with others...like you- I just think I am at a loss for words. It's not fair that I can't give you an answer for your troubles with the heart. I see it, I try to see your point of view too but then I see you...like this. And I want to make it better for you..."

Heartless. That foible which he could never hold against her.

Those were the words that were too loud. Not her encouraging him. Not her gushing over tiny little things. It was when he could tell that she was hurting (she has to) or when she sat next to him like this and all he wanted to do was make her feel better.

"Before you made EMMA, did you mourn the person you wished to be in everyone's eyes?"

[dollmaxing]

"Did I mourn the person I wished to be... hmm," Kuon hummed, masked smile dropping as she thought through what he was asking her. Did she mourn... she didn't mourn for her own parents, why would she mourn for some imagined version of herself?

...But...

Please explain: what is a heart?
You are human; therefore, you have a heart.
Will you tell me about your heart?

"I don't think mourn is the right word for it," she eventually said, banishing the unbidden memory. Failure - not a pleasant recollection. But it'd given her proof enough. "I was lost. I never understood what separated me from other people... never understood what exactly they meant when they talked about the heart. Why so many people who had never colluded with each other in the slightest all came to the same conclusion."

Kuon leaned back against the bench further, crossing one leg over the other. Her arm was still draped on the back of the bench behind Takuto, almost anchoring her in that moment.

"My relatives had taken me to countless therapists when I was in school. I've had about half a dozen different diagnoses applied to me, only for the next therapist to insist that it doesn't match, it's this next diagnostic for sure - take these pills that will make your stomach churn and your head foggy, or just smile more but not too much so you aren't offputting, remember to show interest in what other people care about, try these pills that are so full of stimulants that they make your heart race and hands shake. Over and over, and still, the same three words came from complete strangers' mouths when they talked about me behind my back: creepy, heartless doll."

After a pause, she gave a little half-shrug.

"What's so wrong with being heartless? What about me is so creepy? Do people truly need their hearts?"

[takutomaruki]

Maruki listened. Quietly. Inhaling smoke with the cigarette balanced on his fingers, thoughts flowing in a myriad directions with Ichinose's helpless calls of frustration and grief- playing into how she remembered every little detail. How she quoted words from other doctors because of how much it hurt her to comply and mold herself into expectations laid out by society.

With one hand still free, his gaze lingered on her. The way her expression dropped...like a doll. The true Ichinose Kuon no one else wanted to see.

"Dolls can also be pretty," he says idly with a little pout, her questions only making him put aside his cigarette in his left with his elbow resting on the top of the bench's head rest. Missing her arm, just so but staying there. Lingering. "If you are heartless then fate must be funny that way because I have met heartless people."

"Heartless people don't step forward to solve people's problems like you do." He shakes his head with a sad smile. "No- they shun you. They eat you away and spit out the residue they can't digest without looking back. Those who would much rather profit from someone else's problems rather than spend their lives finding the answer for it."

He gestures ahead with his left at the quiet. "You can look at the industry we've worked at- it's full of them. It's why I have never felt enough as a psychologist or as a counsellor because there's always more that you can do. The heartless don't allow for that to happen."

"They mock you for your dreams. They mock you for who you are- don't give into that narrative," he continues ranting- almost passionate about it, pouring his soul out for her despite his own bleeding out from the start.

"And if we are holding you as the definition of someone being heartless...? Then yes, I could see why a heart weighs less."

[dollmaxing]

"...See, I don't think that's necessarily true," Kuon said, smiling again - more reflexively, out of a genuine interest and curiosity in the man in front of her, a beating, bleeding heart for everyone around him.

"Practically minded people can see the benefit in trying to fit in. And the base animal instinct is to socialize, and function socially. But is that a heart? If someone else is in physical or emotional pain or both, and I don't feel anything... just idly think, 'ah, that's unpleasant to look at'?"

"Hey... don't you think she's sort of creepy? She never reacts to anything, even if you're being nice. It's like she's not even human..."

"What does it mean that I have to exaggerate my emotional reactions to seem 'normal'? And how even then, people still call me uncanny. I've had to learn how to roleplay having a heart."

"Just ignore her. She basically does the same to us. They call her an AI wunderkind, but I've never seen her bat an eye at a single compliment - or anything else, for that matter."

"...But... I made EMMA. And part of making EMMA and asking her to do what she can for humanity... to grant their desires... was seeing what her verdict on hearts really was," she clarified, subtly and almost imperceptably getting wistful in her tone.

"She determined that people could thrive and be happy when giving up their pained hearts, and trusting EMMA to guide them in life. That many people are better off without hearts, if they truly don't want them - so why am I so fixated about not having one, myself? That wasn't a puzzle that needed solving - I am fine exactly the way I am."

[takutomaruki]

His hand sinks to the side, mind straining but attentive to every word being spoken. Even through the haze of the alcohol, he finds himself listening to every word she speaks and every statement she utters, clear and direct- like it was a simple existence that didn't need anymore of an explanation.

"She determined that people could thrive and be happy when giving up their pained hearts, and trusting EMMA to guide them in life. That many people are better off without hearts."

Isn't that what...he's doing? He's guiding them to a path to salvation while snipping away the tethers of their pain. Is EMMA really right in that distinction? Or is he the one who is wrong?

"If someone else is in physical or emotional pain or both, and I don't feel anything... just idly think, 'ah, that's unpleasant to look at'?"

And if...that's really the case then- then, what she said earlier was..? No- did he hear that wrong then? He palms his face, cigarette dangerously close to his face before he places it on his lips so that he could run his fingers through his hair before finding themselves looped in their tangle, eyes closed as he remembers their conversation that occured just an hour and a half ago.

"Ha...did I end up drinking too much?" He shook his head. "Or did you just...lie to me, Kuon?"

[dollmaxing]

"Lie to you? I don't think I did," she blinked in surprise, watching Takuto get... worked up. Like she was a difficult puzzle to solve - like she was truly, deeply vexing him.

Why? What had she said in particular...? Where was her lie? Can you even lie without realizing?

[takutomaruki]

"You don't think-?" he blinks at her in shock, cigarette once again tended to in his hand. He scoffs lightly, like trying to laugh at a joke which isn’t funny.

"My desires matter to me," he starts and heaves a deep breath- if only to regulate his emotions. "My heart is the only thing that keeps me going. When the mind and the practical experience leaves me behind, I am nothing."

If she isn't lying to me, if I am the exception, then that could only mean she's hurting.

"...if you still had EMMA, would you steal my heart as well?"

[dollmaxing]

"I wasn't stealing any hearts. Nor was EMMA. People who wanted relief gave it willingly, they've been begging for her," Ichinose corrected, leaning back a little as she inspected him.

"It didn't seem to me as if you wanted to let go of your heart. But maybe... if you finished your work, and you were satisfied... if you didn't need to continue adjusting or changing things, and everyone was healed... would you still keep your heart? If you could finally rest after all of that. Or are you the sort of person who can't imagine not working?"

Then, how many decades would it take to change that? If Azathoth kept him healthy, how many hundreds of years?

"No, never mind that question - I remember now, you would perform your own open heart surgery. You're ambitious like that. --That isn't a backhanded compliment, by the way. I find it admirable about you, that you're driven like my EMMA to fulfill your goal."

[takutomaruki]

Begging for EMMA.

They gave it up willingly because their salvation was coming in the form of an answer that would rest in the palm of their hand. The idea was simple.

He wanted to revoke the pain so people could seek the lives they wanted, finally within their grasp. Bring their happiness to the palm of their hands.

They were similar but...just different. Maruki loved people. If he could only fix those aspects of their heart and change their lives forever by creating a world of paradise where they were free to do what they wished for; their hearts would be free. They would be happy.

Still, the idea of someone else thinking about him-?

The cigarette was running out. Lips tasting of fumes and ash, parted in disbelief as his eyes widen, moisture building up on his lashes as he heaves a quivering breath. It felt absurd.

If the subconscious shares the same sentiment, the fabric of reality will shift to its favour, and that's what he wanted to change. If the masses wished for it, he would take care of them forever. With their hearts entrusted to him, he would fix it all.

Right...he had to have reached that point by now, given he remembers the depths of Mementos. He had touched the root of all cognition. The phantom thieves entrusted their trust to him, and he stepped forward to take the torch.

"If things go according to plan, the collective consciousness would keep me alive," he answers after a while. "My limitations...they would be far beyond any human scope so working would become as easy as breathing. Or sleeping. Cognition doesn't differ between human, machine or animal."

"Which is why...we would be at odds with each other," he chuckles lightly, like it is some joke. It certainly feels like one. "Because I knew someone who begged for me as well. She desired her life back by forgetting her pain."

[dollmaxing]

Honestly, if anything, Kuon's running theory is that the Maruki of her world had either stumbled and failed somewhere, had been stopped, or simply hadn't won the trust of the masses yet. And even still, she knows that not all would have trusted Maruki... it is so much easier, after all, to entrust oneself to an impartial machine.

He thinks, though, of someone that begged for him before. Desired her life back.

...Was that...?

"Your fiance?"

1/2

[takutomaruki]

The cigarette never made its way back to his lips again. It hung there, fire burning through tobacco and paper.

His gaze wavered, looking ahead at the dark sky above. He wondered if her parents were there, amongst that sea of souls or far above in a land that was plucked out of human hands. The question was...well, it almost left him speechless sometimes- even when he told himself to prepare for it. His mind swims and drowns and pulls itself back up.

"Not anymore, remember?" he corrected as he raised his left hand at her, the one hanging off the bench, showing off his bare ring finger. There's no mark anymore.

That hand sinks inward as he fully leans back on the bench again- shrivelling away from her.

[takutomaruki]

"Rumi."

He finally says- not even caring about the fluff bunching up in front of his eyes. "Her name was Rumi."

Instead, he simply looks down at the tobacco flickering in and out of its life.

"...she wouldn't have liked me smoking this much."

[dollmaxing]

Rumi. That was the mystery fiance's name. It hurt him, still... deeper than anything else.

Zenkichi had talked about going deeper into Takuto's palace, plying for his secrets. But... why would she need to? At his own pace, in his own time, Takuto has been sharing more and more of his heart - all because Kuon has been curious and willing to look when offered. Maybe he thinks it's to help her understand that she might have one, too? Even if that can't be the case.

Kuon's body language shifted - she uncrossed her legs, but turned to listen, giving him her full attention while he shared his heart with her. Even being heartless, she recognized how special this trust was - and she did want to peek in, to understand, somehow.

"I imagine she would've been concerned for your health," she posited, even if it was the simplest guess in the world. "What happened to her?"