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Oh, he's settled down some? While Kuon does lift her head, she does scoot close as he adjusts himself, staying in the embrace. He was warm, pleasantly so, even with the warmth of a summer night. About three loops of the song in her mind - not too long at all, and he looked miles better.

"Looks like you needed it. I'm glad I could be a comfort," she reassured, pulling a hand away from his back to gently wipe at his tear-dampened cheek with a thumb. "You're worth it. A good friend and pleasant company - I am glad I can be a shoulder for you."

Especially since... it was such a far cry from how many people shirked from her, or felt that she was cold or unsettling. Takuto just happened to be a man that needed a doll.

He blinked, slowly, like waking from a long, impossible dream. His breath trembled in his chest, shallow and stunned, but no longer drowning him. Her words curled around the wounded edges of his heart, soft and clear.

You're worth it.

How long had it been since he let himself believe that?

And yet... he didn't flinch. Not this time.

He looked at her, and his eyes were still glassy, rimmed red from the storm she had helped him survive. His glasses remained just the slightest bit askew on his nose- slightly fogged up as he reached up and plucked them off his eyes, hooking them onto his collar.

Through the lingering dampness, a small, unguarded smile began to form. Grateful. Gentle. The kind of smile that trembles with how hard it is to find its place against the unfair reality.

It was the kind of smile he offered students or strangers in sterile white rooms. Messy and subtle as it was, it was raw.

He was still reeling from how natural her touch had felt. From how her thumb had so carefully brushed a tear from his cheek, like she’d done it a hundred times in another life.

She shouldn't understand any of this, he thought.
She said she couldn't feel. That she wasn’t made to hold anyone’s pain.

He grasped her hand, the one that was just about to pull away after wiping his tears, to keep it there. Fingers wrapped around her wrist gently as he closed his eyes and leaned against her open palm.

"...Kuon?"

There was a pause as he said with a certain finality. "Thank you."

Edited 2025-06-29 13:20 (UTC)

"You're welcome," she replied softly, her own smile quirking just a little more broad as he leaned his cheek into her palm. Found her comforting.

Not creepy.

"I think you've needed someone without a heart. Empathy... that would make someone's heart bleed for you. And you... you're always distracted by someone else's pain," she mused, taking in this shaking man... this man who looked like he was just pulled out of the raging sea by his collar.

"When you tell other people about this, that's what happens, isn't it? They hurt for you and Rumi, and then you worry about their pain instead. No one can see through the cloud of their empathy to see you."

And you...you're always distracted by someone else's pain.

Maruki smile grows sharper, not countering her point nor saying she is wrong as he opens his eyes. "It is my desire." Why should someone else's heart bleed for him? The last thing he wants is to have someone mourn for him and Rumi when...things got better.

Once he's sure Kuon is comfortable, he fixes his glasses on his nose- the foggy smudges dotting the lens like it were a dream. As if Kuon being this close to him was only part of some other ideal reality where he wasn't alone anymore.

Still..."I appreciate their sympathy on the matter, though," he smiles like he means it, still looking at her like he could see her heart bleeding still. "I am...not usually worth the trouble. I am the one who got away from it all. I don't mind it."

The hand still resting on her back carefully started to weave through her hair.

"Rumi is happy now. She's doing so much better, and if forgetting me is the cost of it all, I will do it all over again. People don't understand that." I won't be pathetic anymore. "Her future is bright again, and I want to keep trying. There are so many futures that have been shrouded in the dark- if my treatment brings them to light again...then that's what I want to do."

He nodded determinedly.

A cloudy haze overcomes his gaze, looking at Kuon and far beyond at the same time- his left eye glowing gold. "Perhaps in some other universe...I settled down with her. Perhaps in another world...we grew old together."

Edited 2025-06-29 17:30 (UTC)

"But not this one. This research...this cure, this is my tribute to her and-" he chuckles lightly, but it breaks at the end.

"-I lost everything... so there's nothing more for me to lose anymore. No matter what this place says. I will keep trying. For Rumi."

"I have to be the one to do this."

Edited 2025-06-29 17:25 (UTC)

"Exactly. Sacrifices are supposed to hurt, aren't they? So of course you miss her."

He's a human with a normal heart, after all. Building up all of that pain because he can't ignore the pain of others... did he need someone like Kuon this badly?

"But that pain won't stop you - that's admirable. For as long as we're here, as long as you'll have me as a friend, I'll be your support. Just like I was planning to be for EMMA... I'll do what I can to see this miracle through."

Edited 2025-06-29 23:01 (UTC)

"I did, though," he admits- shaking his head at Kuon's insistence. He doubted himself so so much and well, he made mistakes. He can admit that but he can also admit that things can only look up from here. For himself. For Rumi. For the Yoshizawas. For Morning.

And now Kuon too.

It would be so easy...to die by the hands of the those who suffered by some other Maruki’s hands. It has already happened. Twice.

It really couldn't get worse than that. His death didn't matter.

"I did nearly give up. I lost my perspective so it makes me wonder if what I am feeling right now is..."

"Hope..?"

He leans in a little as he tries to adjust himself, his nose bumping against her- even through his clumsiness as he finds himself laughing.

"Heh...oh god-! Haha!" He chuckles at their positioning. "...you must be so uncomfortable right now. Can you even feel your shoulders?" He asks, worriedly- pulling away to give her body the movement she needs.

Edited (pfp change) 2025-06-30 00:22 (UTC)

"Oh, I'm not bothered at all, I hardly sit normally in the first place," she laughed, but figured she would at least adjust to slide closer, sitting hip-to-hip with him before leaning against his shoulder.

"How does your chest feel after getting all that crying out? Seems like you were a shaken soda bottle just waiting to burst!"

"True. I swear I saw you sitting upside down on my couch a few days earlier," he grins teasingly at the fond memory.

Once again, hip-to-hip, he adjusts his glasses before just removing it from his face- wiping away the smudges on his lens with his shirt as he feels her head against his shoulder.

He smiles softly, blush showing on his face again.

"Oh no, don't remind me..." His throat is so parched from all the crying and sobbing it would almost be embarassing if Kuon wasn't here. "What I would kill for some actual soda right now. I am exhausted. "

He says that but there is a sealed can he had bought caught between them.

He placed his glasses back on his nose, satisfied with the much clearer vision.

"But...I'm relieved," he says quietly like he was unsure how much peace would he lose against the relentless nature of this place.

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1/2 TW: suicidal thoughts

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