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Rumi. That was the mystery fiance's name. It hurt him, still... deeper than anything else.

Zenkichi had talked about going deeper into Takuto's palace, plying for his secrets. But... why would she need to? At his own pace, in his own time, Takuto has been sharing more and more of his heart - all because Kuon has been curious and willing to look when offered. Maybe he thinks it's to help her understand that she might have one, too? Even if that can't be the case.

Kuon's body language shifted - she uncrossed her legs, but turned to listen, giving him her full attention while he shared his heart with her. Even being heartless, she recognized how special this trust was - and she did want to peek in, to understand, somehow.

"I imagine she would've been concerned for your health," she posited, even if it was the simplest guess in the world. "What happened to her?"

She would've... During times when he was still busy with his thesis and found himself staying up for nights on end, she would be there, scratching his head until he found himself being lulled back to sleep in her arms.

He didn't look away from the cigarette, staring at the hand that held it. No ring on next to the middle finger for it hovered right above his heart. Concealed from the rest of the world...as things should be.

"...what didn't happen to her?" He found himself asking as he closed his eyes, one hand fidgeting with his collar, feeling at the chain under. "What happens to a woman you've known for almost all your entire life, fearless, kind...passionate and reckless, lose everything in one night?"

He cuts himself off right then, lips quivering like he just came back from a marathon. There's a sigh, followed by the silence where he allows himself to settle into his thoughts.

"It happened on February 3rd, the night when we were celebrating her birthday and announcing our engagement to her parents," he smiled as he stifled a chuckle. "I was so...nervous that time. I remember picking up a cigarette before turning to her and just telling her outright that I was terrified of her parents. I was worried they might not want her to settle with a small-time researcher like me."

"She said- I worry too much, and laughed a little. She...I loved her laughter," he looks up to find Kuon's eyes staring at him, smiling like a man gushing about his wedding that would happen the next day. "Even if some part of her didn't understand where I was coming from, given that I have made way riskier decisions in life, for a moment it felt like I would be able to sleep on it."

Edited 2025-06-27 23:46 (UTC)

Like a curious cat, Kuon's head tilted as she listened to him talk. Talk about the person he loved with all of his heart - someone that can't be replaced.

Has she ever felt that way about someone? So afraid to make the right first impression with relatives... no, she hadn't once even thought about prior partners' parents. She'd gone ahead and been courteous and friendly as always, and gotten the same reaction as always - why would she expect anything else? There was no desperate need to be accepted... something deeply a part of Takuto's heart.

Has she ever loved how someone laughs, finding so much comfort that it soothed her anxieties? No... she's never felt anything that strong. A little passing fondness, the same spark of her mind piquing interest in a puzzle, but nothing like that.

"That would be because that decision mattered more than the others, right?" she asked, keeping her tone soft and kind for Takuto, in thanks for how kind he always was to her.

It mattered.

So much.

It was the one decision in his life that he was completely sure of on the day when he decided to get down on one knee and make sure everything went according to plan. He couldn't let his clumsiness get in the way of it.

The light chain felt profound under his fingers. Soothing. Calming.

"It felt like a decision I was waiting to make for a long while," he admits. "I just didn't want...anything to go wrong, you know? It was right there. That night we had even planned to light up sparklers in her parents' back garden."

His expression falls, remembering the sparkles replaced by gunfire. Sometimes he thought he dissociated so much he couldn't even recollect the event, sometimes it felt like he was still living it.

"When I was with her on February 3rd, tragedy struck her and her parents," he says pointedly, never bringing himself up. "A burglar broke into the house and...killed her parents right before our eyes," He murmurs like they were still there with him. That he could get shot for pulling the wrong move. "He attacked her when she confronted him and...hah," He chuckled lightly, fingers shaking so much that his cigarette dropped from his hands. Open and bare and useless.

He tried to conceal the act anyway, rolling his heel over the cigarette and trying to soothe his left hand by palming with his right.

"I could only just watch from the sidelines before ...deciding to stay back to try and patch any of them up. See if I can save anyone...there was so much blood..." The last few lines were too quiet, almost like he was talking to himself.

He hadn't even realised he looked away from her again, so he forced himself to keep eye contact. "Haha pathetic...right?"

That sort of story is shocking. Something just-- unbelievably unheard of, a sort of tragedy that's impossible to imagine oneself in.

...Well, no. She can imagine one part of it. The sound of gunfire next to her ear, the barrel pointed at her head, and feeling too paralyzed to run - having to think as fast as possible on what to do and coming up short.

And she hadn't even gotten shot.

While she didn't know if the gesture would be comforting, Kuon tried anyway. She placed her hand on Takuto's back, holding it there. Something people did for her at funerals, or what the shadows did for her after she got away from Zenkichi. Hopefully it's the right answer, here.

"Not at all," she shook her head.

Even though the gesture was familiar, it was as comforting as holding an umbrella over a drenched cat. The idea of her reaching out was enough.

His skin jumped when he felt her hand make contact, but his expression remained the same. Distant. With the slightest smile on his face.

"It's alright, you don't have to pacify me for the sake of it," he shook his head. What kind of man was he? If he was so weak and helpless in the face of danger like that... "I promised her father I would take care of her," he says. "And, I did try after that. Soon, around the time when her parents' passing was announced, she was admitted to the hospital. Thankfully, she didn't have any physical injuries that would have proven to be fatal- she was always strong like that."

"But her mental scars...they broke her. Her future was stolen from her by some cruel twist of fate and forced to suffer for the rest of her life," he exhaled a shaky breath. "Depression. Anxiety. Catatonia. PTSD. Days and nights in long-term care, barely acknowledging the world around you."

"I would have given up anything in those 15 months for her to smile again. Anything."

"That makes sense," she immediately responded. And it did - she was heartless and even still, she wanted to help the man that had helped her. The real version of that emotion must be even more powerful, powerful enough to wish with all of your heart.

Her hand didn't move, and she scooted just an inch closer. She wasn't pacifying for the sake of it. She felt motivated to do it, so she did.

"Was Azathoth the one who answered your heart's desire?"

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tw: slight toxic masculinity thoughts but also not really

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